1. |
Who is Me?
02:32
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What is something that will finally set me free
from this shitty fucking punk mentality? Is it a
sign somewhere that we’ve all yet to see? That
says “Move on, this ain’t a place you can sleep.”
The hate builds inside my fist against everything
I see exist. What is blood? What is skin? What are
teeth? What are blankets laid on graves for
people we never see? Where is home? What is
loss? Who is me? Because, baby, I was born to
bleed.
Is it faith that holds me down and binds my
arms? Is it patience that breaks my leg and beats
my heart? Is it pride that holds my eye for hours
and hours? I’ll take “The Me in Team” for $800.
I’m here at least for now, and cash is the
easiest way out.
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2. |
I'm Growing Horns
02:48
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I close my eyes, and I’m there: Half-asleep at
the Doll House, wishing I was at home playing
PM or writing apologies. Even deeper still, I
felt a spirit go through me, like when I was young
and I could see him watching over all.
I was 10 when I grew horns, I was all alone in a
storm. When I was 10 years old, I felt him taking
control, calling my mom on the phone. Because
I’m growing horns.
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3. |
Cargos '97
04:27
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When I picture you, I picture you all alone
watching 90’s music videos. How long has it been?
Can barely remember when you pissed your pants
at the carnival
When we were little kids we made the best of it
what seemed impassible is finished and the
pendulum still swings around it
When I picture you, I picture you confused if the
reason I left was because of you we danced on
broken glass the moon has waned and waxed
and multiplied in numbers
If I stop running than the world starts spinning
if I stop running around your house
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4. |
Good Water
02:14
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What do you focus on when you can see all and
more? Windowpanes in the emergency ward? Are
you in 100 dreams of bad memories, playing Halo 2
in the house that you see when all you own is a
grave? With 14 numbers and your first and last
name? I always wonder if I should set my watch to
the seconds since your’s finally stopped.
Are you still alone? Is your guitar in tune is your
A string still broke? Because it feels like you’re
close. I thought I heard E minor with a couple
extra notes.
Are you still alone? Is your A string still broke?
Because it feels like you’re close. It feels like
you’re home, like you’re not a ghost.
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5. |
Home in the Dark World
02:42
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I swear I’ll never write a song where I say “ghost”.
So I can add that to the list of promises I broke.
Because it’s too easy to not be here, it’s too easy
to disappear here in this room.
You feel anxious all the time and I’m worried that
it’ll never stop. Like there’s headlights in the mirror
and you can’t tell if it’s a cop, and your impulses
tell you to run. But you’re stuck at the house show
until 1.
And I’m watching another band singing pretty like
they were born for it. I thought I’d always believe
that I’d make it eventually, but I am a rock asleep in
a stream slowly withering.
When I close my eyes, I just see fire and rock,
then I realize they’re on their second-to-last song.
It’s so beautiful to feel like a piece in a puzzle of
beer and loss and strings.
But, punk rock is dumb.
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6. |
An Ending Scene
03:23
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I bet she has eyes just like yours, pale rocks dug
in sand. Are the fortunes that you seek buried, too,
in her hands? I wonder your thoughts before you
sleep. The images burned in your eyes: tall grass,
and all we had in a house half-painted white.
It could have been an ending scene, you
peacefully half-asleep, but you’re a heart attack
and I’m remembering that you’re still a living thing.
I hope that you found what you’re looking for,
dependency like you’ve always been. But, I will
always think of when we were just two kids. Scared
to death, the blinding quickness, like all the drugs
you had to take. I wanted to be your friend so bad.
But I was never that brave.
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7. |
Meketre's Tomb
03:43
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Back where we started, some direction pulls at
me. Out in the garden, where the weeds have
turned to trees, and I’m looking for something
but nothing fills the need.
You only love me as I’m leaving. Is it the way I
turn my head? Is it the way I map my roads out,
is it the way that I don’t care? When I wake from
dreaming, the feeling disappears. The world just
seems to spin out. The map must have fallen right
out of my pocket.
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8. |
You and You
03:28
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Tried to play it cool, because you don’t like it
when I freak out. Looked through photos of you,
erase the worry and the doubt. Yeah, because when
I’m alone I run sandpaper through all of my nice
things. When I’m alone I just end up hurting my
own feelings, because if you were out of my life
I’d wake up drier and drier every night. If you
realize the monster I am, I’d feel guilty all the time.
I woke up on Star Trek. No one knew my name,
I was a stranger in my fantasy. All the people I
loved just hated me, and you become the space
between and the worries breed, and there ain’t
nothin’ more I miss than you.
Thought a song would fix it, but what if this is
forever? What if you’re ashamed when we’re
together? What if I’m a loser and this is as far
as I will ever go? I’m so worried I’ll wake up from
a nap, and all I’ll ever do is stay in this room alone.
But, I try to calm myself down, remember when I
had a couple more friends. I start back up the
conversations with the walls and missing you again.
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9. |
All You Need is Blood
03:59
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There’s a small wooden box with the lock broken
off that used to hold all my poems and words. The
deeper you go, the rouger they get like old roads
turing from pavement to dirt. It was up a gravel
trail where I first laid eyes on some pixels on my
phone of your face. You were younger then I
remember. God, I wish I could go back to that place.
It’s just cement stairs leading to empty air in the
spot where your trailer was parked. If I close my
eyes, I see the screen door still, memories I only
see in the dark. Shallow in the box there’s a note
from you that I never got rid of. In small round
letters in bright red pen it says, “All You Need is
Blood.”
How many NeoPoints? How much off-brand
cereal? How many big dollars until I leave this
form, become ethereal? How many more weeks I
got? How many beats of your dying heart? You said
that this gets good, so how many episodes left in
this boring arc? How many hours are left in the
first shift of the week? Waited for you a long time
all these monsters you handed me. What I gotta do
to get back to the place I’m meant to be? Where is
heaven? When is Marvel? Who is me?
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10. |
Black Midi
04:50
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Looking forward, I’ve always sought forgiveness
through my art. Always searching for a new place
afar. I began to question my place in the space
where I belong. Always holding onto a good heart.
I’ll be quieted and quelled. I’ll just play all these
riffs in hell, where no one ever sleeps alone. Like
me, they scream and wail. This is who is I’m. Just
another fading light, when the MP3s turn back to
sand, who will remember my life?
Way back, I had a band, and no one liked us
except me. Maybe that was the art, just to make
things selfishly, and so I try to touch that specter.
To steal his honesty and wit. Take his youth and
energy, rewaste every ounce of it.
We could all go home.
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Go Hibiki Missoula, montana
Don't step on my brakes.
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